THE MEMORY COMES FLASHING BACK TONIGHT
LIKE A SPOTLIGHT
I WAS 16 YEARS OLD IN NEW YORK FOR THE FIRST TIME
OFF A LAYOVER FLIGHT
I WAS ON MY WAY TO ISRAEL THE VERY NEXT DAY
THERE WAS A BOY IN MY GROUP WHO I THOUGHT MIGHT BE GAY
I TRIED TO CALL HIM ON IT, HE TRIED TO STALL ME ON IT
THEN HE SAID “YEAH, OKAY”
SO MY FIRST REAL KISS WAS IN A CLOSET
AT THE HOTEL PENNSYLVANIA
AND WHILE HE SAID HE WOULD NOT BLOW ME
HE SAID HE COULD SHOW ME HOW TO USE MY TONGUE
I WAS SO YOUNG! AND DUMB! AND FULL OF YOU KNOW WHAT ...
THEN THIS MEMORY COMES FLASHING BACK TONIGHT
LIKE A SEARCHLIGHT
I WAS 13 YEARS OLD GROWING UP IN DETROIT,
I WORE MY JEANS TOO TIGHT
I WAS AWKWARD AS HELL AND NOT SURE WHAT TO DO
ABOUT THE MESSY, SEXY FEELINGS THAT WERE BURSTING THROUGH
I TRIED TO TEAR THEM OUT
I TRIED TO WEAR THEM OUT
BUT THEY JUST GREW AND GREW
SO TO COPE I WROTE THESE AWFUL
MAYA ANGELOUISH KNOCK-OFF POEMS ("STILL I RISE ...")
AND I READ MY JACKIE COLLINS NOVELS ("HOLLYWOOD WIVES ...")
AND I JACKED OFF IN MY GRAMMA’S BED
YEAH, THAT’S WHAT I JUST SAID
AND THE BOMBS BEGAN BURSTING IN MY HEAD
THEN THIS MEMORY COMES FLASHING BACK TONIGHT
LIKE A STOPLIGHT
I WAS 10 YEARS OLD AND A FAT LITTLE BLACK KID
WITH AN OVERBITE
I WAS HORSING AROUND WITH MY COUSIN DRE
WHO COULD GET REAL AGGRESSIVE WITH THE GAMES WE’D PLAY
I TRIED TO CALL HIM ON IT, I TRIED TO STALL HIM ON IT
BUT I LOST MY WAY
SO ON A PILE OF DIRTY LAUNDRY
IN THE BASEMENT OF MY HOUSE
MY COUSIN KISSED ME AND HE TOUCHED ME
AND I THINK I SORT OF LIKED IT
SO I GOT DOWN ON MY KNEES TO PRAY;
TO GOD PLEASE GOD DON'T MAKE ME GAY;
I PLEDGED MY HEART TO CHRIST I SWORE
I’D NEVER TOUCH HIM ANYMORE …
BUT I DID
WE COMMITTED THESE CRIMES
WE DID IT ONE MORE, TWO MORE, THREE MORE TIMES
AND JUST LIKE CLOCKWORK ON MY KNEES I PRAYED TO GOD
AND ALL HIS FUCKING LITTLE ANGELS IN THE SKY;
ANGELS STANDING BY;
THEY DO NOT REPLY
THEY SIGH
AND ROLL THEIR EYES ...
PRESENT DAY NOW
FULL BLOWN GAY NOW
HE'S IN DETROIT
I'M IN MANHATTAN
HAVEN'T SEEN HIM FOR YEARS
AND YET WE'RE FACEBOOK CHATTIN'
I SAY "HI"
HE SAYS "'SUP"
WE CHAT, CHAT, CHAT BUT THAT, THAT, THAT NEVER COMES UP
STILL THE MEMORY COMES FLASHING BACK TONIGHT
YOU KNOW 'CAUSE HE DOES MANHUNT
I DO NOT ANYMORE
EVEN THOUGH SAY MANHUNTIN' MANHATTAN IS THE PROMISED LAND I REFUSE TO EXPLORE
'CAUSE THE MEMORY COMES FLASHING BACK TONIGHT
YOU KNOW 'CAUSE WE WERE CLOSE ONCE
NOW WE'RE NOT ANYMORE
EVEN THOUGH
HE PROMISED THEN
WHEN HE WAS TWELVE
AND I WAS TEN
THAT WE WOULD ALWAYS HAVE OUR LAUNDRY BED
EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE JUST CHILDISH EXPERIMENTATIONS
GIVEN WHERE MY LOSER LOVE LIFE HAS LED
AM I WRONG TO LONG
FOR THE OLD SENSATIONS?
'CAUSE THE MEMORY COMES BACK FLASHING BACK
LIKE A BLUE (MOVE ALONG FOLKS NOTHING TO SEE; JUST A PILE OF DIRTY LAUNDRY)
LIKE A BLUE (MOVE ALONG FOLKS NOTHING TO SEE; JUST A PILE OF DIRTY LAUNDRY)
LIKE A BLUE (MOVE ALONG FOLKS NOTHING TO SEE; JUST A PILE OF DIRTY LAUNDRY DIRTY LAUNDRY DIRTY)
SPOTLIGHT
credits
from Dirty Laundry,
released May 31, 2018
Produced by Dan Weiner
Vocals: Michael R. Jackson
Dave is the master of writing endings that instill an ethereal feeling of hope within the person who experiences it. The Field is a perfect cap to the end of Octet and by itself it fills me with the calm tranquility of acceptance in situations where I feel like everything is wrong, like I'm unworthy of everything I have and happiness itself. It always reminds me to not waste anymore of my weird and precious time, arguing the nonsense of the wheel. playton
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